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amasijo) wrote in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
milkcrisis2013-01-16 11:46 pm
amasijo) wrote in milkcrisis2013-01-16 11:46 pm
happy birthday, jerk.
Four And A Half People Who Notice TOP Has Replaced Himself With A Friendly Raptor. Big Bang. Todae. Utterly fucking ridiculous, and mostly dedicated to sedins because it's her birthday, but heartily enabled by sailor and panache. I hope you're happy.
1.
When Dongwook shows up, Seunghyun is sitting on the stairs leading to his terrace, holding one of the toy bear things he likes so much. He pauses to take in the sight and to make his peace with the fact that he’s never actually going to understand what the hell is so great about these bears—stare into their eyes too long and you’ll end up having weird, symbolic nightmares: Dongwook knows this from experience. Seunghyun said it was probably because he was drunk, but Dongwook knows better.
“Yo,” Dongwook says, finally making his way up, and Seunghyun tilts his head at him instead of offering up a mildly awed, plenty mocking comment about how good Dongwook looks. They have kind of a routine, but Dongwook guesses even Seunghyun has to have his off days.
Dongwook shrugs, says, “Yeah, you too,” and takes a seat just a step above Seunghyun. “You ready to go? I’ve been recording all day and I’m starving, so—,” Dongwook breaks off, and stares at Seunghyun’s mouth for a few seconds.
He narrows his eyes and ducks closer to get a better look. “This might sound weird but...your teeth...are they...different? Pointier?”
Seunghyun comes out of the house then, actually Seunghyun, which makes the person Dongwook is sitting next to...
“Oh, shit! You’re a raptor,” Dongwook shrieks, and points at Seunghyun, the real one. He scrambles up the last few steps and punches him in the arm, “That raptor has dyed hair. It has hair! What the fuck, Choi Seunghyun?”
Seunghyun rotates his arm, and Dongwook just barely stops himself from offering to give him a matching bruise on the other one. He meets Dongwook’s eyes and says, “Hyung. You were supposed to be here earlier, and now I have to go. We won’t even get to have dinner.”
Dongwook crosses his arms, and slowly starts tapping his foot. “You know, I’m hungry, but not hungry enough to forget you have a raptor sitting on your steps. I can see him. He’s right there.”
Seunghyun tries a sweet smile but Dongwook stares him down. “Fine. It’s a wig. See, it’s like this...”
Dongwook leaves Seunghyun’s place twenty minutes later, and edges around the raptor to go down the stairs. Disconcertingly, the raptor seems to have an expression on its face that almost looks like a smile. Dongwook takes the last few stairs three at a time. He needs a drink.
Or maybe he needs to talk to another of his dongsaengs, if only to reassure himself that not all kids are as weird as Seunghyun these days. Minji, he decides.
Little Minji, who represents better than anyone the future of the industry. Plus, she likes him, so she’ll probably be nice.
When he's finished telling her that Seunghyun is replacing himself with a raptor for a few months, Minji pats his shoulder gently, like she's not sure how it'll be received, or maybe like she thinks he needs rest, and says, "Yes, oppa, you're really good-looking, okay? But you don't have to call Seunghyun-oppa a raptor just because you're having a crisis about your age. That's mean."
Dongwook spends the rest of the night scrutinizing his face for wrinkles.
2.
“Thanks, by the way! I had fun,” Bom says.
The raptor makes a screeching noise that probably means I did too! even though Bom can’t be sure. He’s not attacking her, anyway, so that’s probably a good sign.
Jiyong walks by the door, carrying three hairpieces. “Oh, hey. Where did you go?”
“We went for a manicure,” Bom says. “Seunghyunnie’s nails were getting just a little long!”
Jiyong gives the raptor an annoyed look. “I’ve been telling you to get one like, all week.” He sighs, “Whatever, look, your outfit’s ready so hurry up because we can’t be late to rehearsal again because of you.”
He turns to Bom and shakes his head, “He made us stop to buy meat for him last time. There’s something wrong with him.”
Bom almost laughs, but then she remembers that dinosaurs are carnivorous, and who knows what would have happened if they hadn’t stopped for meat? She tries to radiate concern. “I think people just get cravings, sometimes! It’s good to take care of them but,” and she glances at the raptor, “it’s not a good idea to overdo it!”
Jiyong nods, probably having mentally moved on already, and holds up a blue hairpiece, “This one,” then an orange one, “this one,” and a plain black one with glitter edging the bottom, “or this one?”
Bom doesn’t even have to think about it. “That last one.”
Jiyong hums thoughtfully and walks away.
“Don’t worry,” Bom tells the raptor, hoping she can provide some reassurance, “he just gets cranky sometimes. It’ll be okay!”
The raptor looks remarkably unconcerned.
3.
Daesung opens the door of their waiting room to find the raptor eating a kilogram of raw meat.
“Hyung,” he says hesitantly. He closes the door behind him as quickly as he can. The raptor keeps on eating, after making a gurgling sound in Daesung’s direction. He’d noticed the raptor on the first day, of course, but no one else had really seemed to, so this seems like it’s a clever enough plan. He’s already gotten a text from Seunghyun with the raptor’s contact info for future reference. He’s made his peace with it. It’s just. Well.
“What should I call you,” he muses outloud. “Raptor hyung? I mean, that’s weird but you feel like hyung even though you’re only a raptor.”
The raptor narrows its eyes at him and Daesung suddenly realizes that its teeth are probably really sharp, because it’s \really tearing into that meat.
“Ah, no,” Daesung says, “I only meant, you’re really good at being hyung! I just think...maybe you should be a little more careful?”
The raptor jumps down from its chair and scrutinizes Daesung, tilting its head left and right, like it’s considering eating him alive. Daesung no longer feels at peace with this.
He flattens himself against the door and smiles as wide as he can. “Like with the food! I just meant with that. Okay, hyung, I’m gonna go, bye!”
A chittering noise comes from the raptor, and Daesung turns back to find the raptor a little closer than he’s comfortable with.
“Yes?”
The raptor headbutts Daesung’s shoulder, and. No. No way.
“Do you,” Daesung starts. He has to stop, because, honestly. Really. But it might be, so, it’s probably best to make sure. “Do you want a piggyback ride?”
His voice goes oddly high at the end, but at least his vocal trainer will be glad to know he can now hit those notes they were talking about last week.
The raptor looks as happy as he does whenever he gets to eat meat. It’s a little worrying, but it looks like his best alternative to being eaten alive, and Daesung is generally a fan of not being eaten alive. He’s sure he’d never have had to even consider this if he hadn’t joined a boy band. The music industry is messed up.
“Okay,” Daesung says. “But please don’t try to jump on my back. Your claws look really sharp.”
4.
“Ah,” a five year old girl exclaims, in the living room of her aunt’s apartment. “It’s a dinosaur!”
Her brother, 14 years old and still pinged by the word dinosaur, snatches the remote from her hand. “What? Where?”
“There,” she says. “Right there!”
She points at the TV. Onscreen, an MC is complimenting TOP on appearing extra charismatic.
“Really,” he’s saying, “your stare has become very intense!”
“Ugh, he’s so handsome,” her brother sighs, dinosaurs momentarily forgotten. “I’ll never be that good-looking.”
“But it’s—”
“Shh, they’re starting the interview,” her brother says.
“He’s a dinosaur,” his sister mutters under her breath, before hopping off the couch in search of something more interesting to do.
½.
Seunghyun wakes up to frantic knocking, and Jiyong’s hoarse yells. “Open the fucking door!”
He has to slide down the banister because he doesn’t feel like tumbling to his death down the stairs because of lack of sleep, but he crashes into one of the bigger Bearbricks he has standing right next to the couch, and has to check himself for injuries because that could have been really bad. He doesn’t want to go down in history as the first guy to like break his leg by tripping over a figurine or something. When he does finally get to the door, it seems Jiyong has run out of steam.
“It’s 4AM,” Seunghyun says.
“Why can’t you make the screeching sounds anymore? We needed those for the next album.”
“What the fuck,” Seunghyun says. “What screeching sounds? I will slam this door in your face.”
“The, like,” Jiyong makes a face, and then the reediest, most grating sound comes out of his mouth. He’s tempted to tell him it sounds a lot like his normal singing, just to make him get pissed, but he holds off. “You know?”
This is when Seunghyun remembers the raptor. “Oh. Uh, I, I guess that was just a weird...anomaly with my vocal chords, or something. And now it’s...gone. Sorry.”
Jiyong rolls his eyes. “Well, make it happen again.”
“I can’t.”
“Ugh.”
“I’ll just, I don’t know,” Seunghyun says. “Isn’t there an instrument that makes a similar noise?”
“Maybe,” Jiyong concedes. “So you better find it.”
“Yeah,” Seunghyun says. “You could have just called. Jesus.”
“Sure,” Jiyong says. “But I also have another question.”
Seunghyun doesn’t like the grin on Jiyong’s face. Generally, Jiyong grinning means they’re about to end up in avant-garde outfits (“Is that French for fucking weird?” “It’s French for shut the fuck up and wear this or I’ll suggest giving you a dance solo.”), or when they’re about to lose sleep because they have to put in ridiculous hours in the studio.
Despite his extensive experience, Seunghyun still says, “Shoot.”
“Are you and Daesung gonna be on time for practice tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” Seunghyun says. Then: “Shit, wait.”
“I can see his shoes from here,” Jiyong says.
Seunghyun scrambles to close the door. “Anyway, see you tomorrow, man, we’ll definitely, I mean, I’ll definitely—”
“Are those his pants on your couch? Didn’t you just get back like, an hour ago? You guys are fast, I’m honestly kind of impre—”
“Night,” Seunghyun says, finally managing to punch in the alarm.
“Night,” Jiyong calls back from the other side of the door. Seunghyun stands there until his triumphant cackles fade into the night, and then he goes back to bed.
Somehow, Daesung has managed to sleep through that. But then again, Daesung was here doing promotions while Seunghyun went off to rest while a raptor impersonated him, so it’s kind of understandable.
sedins because it's her birthday, but heartily enabled by sailor and panache. I hope you're happy. 1.
When Dongwook shows up, Seunghyun is sitting on the stairs leading to his terrace, holding one of the toy bear things he likes so much. He pauses to take in the sight and to make his peace with the fact that he’s never actually going to understand what the hell is so great about these bears—stare into their eyes too long and you’ll end up having weird, symbolic nightmares: Dongwook knows this from experience. Seunghyun said it was probably because he was drunk, but Dongwook knows better.
“Yo,” Dongwook says, finally making his way up, and Seunghyun tilts his head at him instead of offering up a mildly awed, plenty mocking comment about how good Dongwook looks. They have kind of a routine, but Dongwook guesses even Seunghyun has to have his off days.
Dongwook shrugs, says, “Yeah, you too,” and takes a seat just a step above Seunghyun. “You ready to go? I’ve been recording all day and I’m starving, so—,” Dongwook breaks off, and stares at Seunghyun’s mouth for a few seconds.
He narrows his eyes and ducks closer to get a better look. “This might sound weird but...your teeth...are they...different? Pointier?”
Seunghyun comes out of the house then, actually Seunghyun, which makes the person Dongwook is sitting next to...
“Oh, shit! You’re a raptor,” Dongwook shrieks, and points at Seunghyun, the real one. He scrambles up the last few steps and punches him in the arm, “That raptor has dyed hair. It has hair! What the fuck, Choi Seunghyun?”
Seunghyun rotates his arm, and Dongwook just barely stops himself from offering to give him a matching bruise on the other one. He meets Dongwook’s eyes and says, “Hyung. You were supposed to be here earlier, and now I have to go. We won’t even get to have dinner.”
Dongwook crosses his arms, and slowly starts tapping his foot. “You know, I’m hungry, but not hungry enough to forget you have a raptor sitting on your steps. I can see him. He’s right there.”
Seunghyun tries a sweet smile but Dongwook stares him down. “Fine. It’s a wig. See, it’s like this...”
Dongwook leaves Seunghyun’s place twenty minutes later, and edges around the raptor to go down the stairs. Disconcertingly, the raptor seems to have an expression on its face that almost looks like a smile. Dongwook takes the last few stairs three at a time. He needs a drink.
Or maybe he needs to talk to another of his dongsaengs, if only to reassure himself that not all kids are as weird as Seunghyun these days. Minji, he decides.
Little Minji, who represents better than anyone the future of the industry. Plus, she likes him, so she’ll probably be nice.
When he's finished telling her that Seunghyun is replacing himself with a raptor for a few months, Minji pats his shoulder gently, like she's not sure how it'll be received, or maybe like she thinks he needs rest, and says, "Yes, oppa, you're really good-looking, okay? But you don't have to call Seunghyun-oppa a raptor just because you're having a crisis about your age. That's mean."
Dongwook spends the rest of the night scrutinizing his face for wrinkles.
2.
“Thanks, by the way! I had fun,” Bom says.
The raptor makes a screeching noise that probably means I did too! even though Bom can’t be sure. He’s not attacking her, anyway, so that’s probably a good sign.
Jiyong walks by the door, carrying three hairpieces. “Oh, hey. Where did you go?”
“We went for a manicure,” Bom says. “Seunghyunnie’s nails were getting just a little long!”
Jiyong gives the raptor an annoyed look. “I’ve been telling you to get one like, all week.” He sighs, “Whatever, look, your outfit’s ready so hurry up because we can’t be late to rehearsal again because of you.”
He turns to Bom and shakes his head, “He made us stop to buy meat for him last time. There’s something wrong with him.”
Bom almost laughs, but then she remembers that dinosaurs are carnivorous, and who knows what would have happened if they hadn’t stopped for meat? She tries to radiate concern. “I think people just get cravings, sometimes! It’s good to take care of them but,” and she glances at the raptor, “it’s not a good idea to overdo it!”
Jiyong nods, probably having mentally moved on already, and holds up a blue hairpiece, “This one,” then an orange one, “this one,” and a plain black one with glitter edging the bottom, “or this one?”
Bom doesn’t even have to think about it. “That last one.”
Jiyong hums thoughtfully and walks away.
“Don’t worry,” Bom tells the raptor, hoping she can provide some reassurance, “he just gets cranky sometimes. It’ll be okay!”
The raptor looks remarkably unconcerned.
3.
Daesung opens the door of their waiting room to find the raptor eating a kilogram of raw meat.
“Hyung,” he says hesitantly. He closes the door behind him as quickly as he can. The raptor keeps on eating, after making a gurgling sound in Daesung’s direction. He’d noticed the raptor on the first day, of course, but no one else had really seemed to, so this seems like it’s a clever enough plan. He’s already gotten a text from Seunghyun with the raptor’s contact info for future reference. He’s made his peace with it. It’s just. Well.
“What should I call you,” he muses outloud. “Raptor hyung? I mean, that’s weird but you feel like hyung even though you’re only a raptor.”
The raptor narrows its eyes at him and Daesung suddenly realizes that its teeth are probably really sharp, because it’s \really tearing into that meat.
“Ah, no,” Daesung says, “I only meant, you’re really good at being hyung! I just think...maybe you should be a little more careful?”
The raptor jumps down from its chair and scrutinizes Daesung, tilting its head left and right, like it’s considering eating him alive. Daesung no longer feels at peace with this.
He flattens himself against the door and smiles as wide as he can. “Like with the food! I just meant with that. Okay, hyung, I’m gonna go, bye!”
A chittering noise comes from the raptor, and Daesung turns back to find the raptor a little closer than he’s comfortable with.
“Yes?”
The raptor headbutts Daesung’s shoulder, and. No. No way.
“Do you,” Daesung starts. He has to stop, because, honestly. Really. But it might be, so, it’s probably best to make sure. “Do you want a piggyback ride?”
His voice goes oddly high at the end, but at least his vocal trainer will be glad to know he can now hit those notes they were talking about last week.
The raptor looks as happy as he does whenever he gets to eat meat. It’s a little worrying, but it looks like his best alternative to being eaten alive, and Daesung is generally a fan of not being eaten alive. He’s sure he’d never have had to even consider this if he hadn’t joined a boy band. The music industry is messed up.
“Okay,” Daesung says. “But please don’t try to jump on my back. Your claws look really sharp.”
4.
“Ah,” a five year old girl exclaims, in the living room of her aunt’s apartment. “It’s a dinosaur!”
Her brother, 14 years old and still pinged by the word dinosaur, snatches the remote from her hand. “What? Where?”
“There,” she says. “Right there!”
She points at the TV. Onscreen, an MC is complimenting TOP on appearing extra charismatic.
“Really,” he’s saying, “your stare has become very intense!”
“Ugh, he’s so handsome,” her brother sighs, dinosaurs momentarily forgotten. “I’ll never be that good-looking.”
“But it’s—”
“Shh, they’re starting the interview,” her brother says.
“He’s a dinosaur,” his sister mutters under her breath, before hopping off the couch in search of something more interesting to do.
½.
Seunghyun wakes up to frantic knocking, and Jiyong’s hoarse yells. “Open the fucking door!”
He has to slide down the banister because he doesn’t feel like tumbling to his death down the stairs because of lack of sleep, but he crashes into one of the bigger Bearbricks he has standing right next to the couch, and has to check himself for injuries because that could have been really bad. He doesn’t want to go down in history as the first guy to like break his leg by tripping over a figurine or something. When he does finally get to the door, it seems Jiyong has run out of steam.
“It’s 4AM,” Seunghyun says.
“Why can’t you make the screeching sounds anymore? We needed those for the next album.”
“What the fuck,” Seunghyun says. “What screeching sounds? I will slam this door in your face.”
“The, like,” Jiyong makes a face, and then the reediest, most grating sound comes out of his mouth. He’s tempted to tell him it sounds a lot like his normal singing, just to make him get pissed, but he holds off. “You know?”
This is when Seunghyun remembers the raptor. “Oh. Uh, I, I guess that was just a weird...anomaly with my vocal chords, or something. And now it’s...gone. Sorry.”
Jiyong rolls his eyes. “Well, make it happen again.”
“I can’t.”
“Ugh.”
“I’ll just, I don’t know,” Seunghyun says. “Isn’t there an instrument that makes a similar noise?”
“Maybe,” Jiyong concedes. “So you better find it.”
“Yeah,” Seunghyun says. “You could have just called. Jesus.”
“Sure,” Jiyong says. “But I also have another question.”
Seunghyun doesn’t like the grin on Jiyong’s face. Generally, Jiyong grinning means they’re about to end up in avant-garde outfits (“Is that French for fucking weird?” “It’s French for shut the fuck up and wear this or I’ll suggest giving you a dance solo.”), or when they’re about to lose sleep because they have to put in ridiculous hours in the studio.
Despite his extensive experience, Seunghyun still says, “Shoot.”
“Are you and Daesung gonna be on time for practice tomorrow?”
“Yeah,” Seunghyun says. Then: “Shit, wait.”
“I can see his shoes from here,” Jiyong says.
Seunghyun scrambles to close the door. “Anyway, see you tomorrow, man, we’ll definitely, I mean, I’ll definitely—”
“Are those his pants on your couch? Didn’t you just get back like, an hour ago? You guys are fast, I’m honestly kind of impre—”
“Night,” Seunghyun says, finally managing to punch in the alarm.
“Night,” Jiyong calls back from the other side of the door. Seunghyun stands there until his triumphant cackles fade into the night, and then he goes back to bed.
Somehow, Daesung has managed to sleep through that. But then again, Daesung was here doing promotions while Seunghyun went off to rest while a raptor impersonated him, so it’s kind of understandable.
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